


Of Insomnia, Vodka, and A Ride Back Home.

by imbadatpickingnames



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Drunk Texting, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Underage Drinking, and victor just being victor, i tried my best k, idk if this is funny or nah, im just borrowing jj's house tho, otabek taking care of him, there's victuuri if you squint, they're like a happy family i stg, yurio being drunk and adorable, yurio lives together with victor and yuuri, yuuri being an official mom friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:25:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9104572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imbadatpickingnames/pseuds/imbadatpickingnames
Summary: Apparently, going on a midnight adventure to find some drunk Russian teenager is the best way to cure insomnia.That works for Otabek, at least.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is the first fanfic i've ever posted. I tried my best lmao  
> This fic may contain grammar error, because English is not my native language. So please make sure to tell me your opinion so i can do better next time :)

Otabek can’t sleep. He really can’t.

It’s been so long since he turned off the lights in his room. He switched his phone into airplane mode so no one would bother him when he’s sleeping. He already rolled himself under a comfy, warm blanket. He’s so ready to go to sleep.

He was so fucking ready.

His whole body is tired, but his brain isn’t.

He shut his eyes close, trying as hard as he could to fall asleep. He even tried to remember if he had drink anything that has caffeine in them, but nothing comes up to his mind. Indeed, he felt restless. But at the same time he felt like a kid that eats too much sugary thing.

Insomnia is a bitch, he thinks to himself.

(Not that he actually say the curse word. Otabek is a good guy, after all.)

Now he’s pacing around his room, trying to get his body even more tired. He gets tired, but he’s still not sleepy at all. He has to wake up earlier tomorrow so he could practice even more and his skating style will be better. He grunts in distress as he lays his eyes on the clock on the nightstand.

It’s three-quarter to twelve. He wants to scream.

But he knows that he’s a calm and composed person. He will never let things like this take over his whole being. So he sucks in a good amount of fresh air and lays on his back, starring at the ceiling -which is so plain and boring. Otabek makes a mental note to put a giant-sized portrait of _a certain blonde Russian skater_ on his ceiling. But then if he actually does that, then he’ll have to say goodbye to sleep because he’ll be too busy admiring the ceiling.

Admiring _the portrait_ on the ceiling, to be more specific.

As he lays awake on his bed, with only train of thoughts going around his head, he decides to check his phone. He disables the airplane mode, and then just stares at it with no interest at all.

Suddenly, a notification pops up in his cellphone screen.

It’s a text from Yuuri. How very unusual

mother in-law : Otabek are you asleep??

mother in-law : We need a serious help here!!

Otabek thinks that maybe changing Yuuri’s name in his contact truly is a bad idea.

you: No, I’m not asleep. What’s wrong?

mother in-law: You’re not going to believe this but

you: Yeah? What is it?

Otabek has to remain polite in front of his “not actual mother in-law” if he wants to be serious with _that certain blonde Russian skater_. He has to look well-mannered.

mother in-law: YURIO IS MISSING!

you: what the actual fuck

Otabek loses his shit. He’s no longer the calm and composed guy you used to know. Rest in peace, Otabek ‘I am a very calm guy’ Altin. You will be missed.

you: but how is he missing in the first place?

mother in-law: Victor misplaced Yurio’s water bottle with his vodka

mother in law: Yurio’s not even questioning it he just drank all of them

mother in-law: And then he got drunk, tripped over the furnitures a few times before we even realized he was gone!

you: im not trying to blame you, victor, or your parenting skills but how is that possible??

mother in-law: Parenting skills?

you: well, never mind.

you: you guys could’ve stop him from leaving??

mother in-law: I told him to wait in his room for a few minutes because I had to bring him a glass of real water and probably some pain-killer in case he got a headache.

mother in-law: But when I got back he was no longer there??

you: didn’t you tell victor to look after him?

mother in-law:…I did, actually.

you: but yura still managed to sneak out tho?

mother in-law:…

mother in-law: Be right back. I’m murdering my husband.

Otabek is not sure if he should panic or laugh right now.

A few minutes passed, Otabek’s still waiting for another text from Yuuri before he could actually look out for his beloved tiger boy who is drunk at the moment and probably out there doing some illegal things. Otabek secretly hopes he’s not pole-dancing right now.

Not without him enjoying the few, of course.

While he’s busy trying to think of any possibilities of where Yuri is right now, his phone buzzed again. He immediately unlock his phone and checks his inbox.

mother in-law: Ok, he’s dead now.

you: you actually murdered him??

mother in-law: No. But I’m barring him from sex for a week so he’s probably dead inside.

mother in-law: Works every time.

you: that…is just so cruel ok

mother in-law: He started crying it’s a rare few.

mother in-law: Now, LET’S FIND YURIO!!

you: did he bring his phone?

mother in-law: Hold on I’m going to check.

mother in-law: YASS HE BRINGS IT!

mother in-law: I’m going to call him to see where he’s at.

you: make sure to tell me where he is so I can pick him up.

mother in-law: Yeah, sure! I’ll tell you.

While waiting for another news from Yuuri, Otabek gets up from his bed and changes his clothes into something more appropriate. He would definitely not want to ride his bike around the city looking out for Yuri only in his pajamas.

Another text from Yuuri.

mother in-law: Okay. So I called Yurio and he picked it up.

mother in-law: But then he said “Next time learn how to text, you fool” then he hung up the phone.

mother in-law: He won’t pick up any of my calls so I texted him.

mother in law: He didn’t want to tell me where he is.

mother in-law: He said “I’m not telling you, katsudon. I don’t want to talk to anyone except for Beka”.

mother in-law: Who is this ‘Beka’ anyway?

you: uh… that’s me, actually

mother in-law: You both have nicknames for each other.

mother in-law: YOU BOTH HAVE NICKNAMES FOR EACH OTHER OMG

you: moving on, please. he could be arrested rn.

mother in-law: He said he only wants to talk with you.

mother in-law: You’re our only hope.

you: k I’ll call him.

As soon as he stopped texting with Yuuri, Otabek searches for Yuri’s name in his contact. He found it under the name “my pirohzki” with one cat emoji and many blue heart emojis.

He can’t let Yuri see this.

He presses the call button, and wait for the blonde teenager to pick it up. He starts fiddling with the zipper of his leather jacket knowing that soon he will be listening to those angelic  voice that sometimes _haunt his dream in a very unforgettable way possible._

“Ayyy whaddup Beka?”

Oh shit, there it is.

“Yura Plisetsky, where are you right now?” Otabek tries not to sound too panic with every bits of calmness left in his body. Much to his surprised, he hears a terrible, obnoxious laughter coming from the other side of the phone.

“Nononono, I won’t tell you unless you text me. I hate talking on the phone you know, that’s why I prefer texting because you don’t have to…wait the fuck a minute. Does that mean I have to press buttons to text someone?”

“Yes, Yura. You have to press more buttons to text someone.”

“So texting is more complicated than phone calls?”

“Yes of course, Yura.”

“Well shit, the cats have been fooling me the whole time. This isn’t justice.”

This kid is very drunk.

“Just tell me where you are, okay? I’ll pick you up wherever you are.” Otabek holds back the urge of screaming ‘where the fuck you at, shithead’ into the phone.

“Nooo I won’t tell you now. Wanna find out where the actual fuck Yuri Plisetsky is? Text him for more details! Please click the link on the bio to…wait I…oh shit I don’t have any links…” was all Yuri said-with slurred words- before he hangs up the phone. Otabek couldn’t help but snorted a bit because Yuri sounds like that Google Translate voice, even when he cursed.

you: okay yura, tell me where you are now”

my pirohzki:  i wont tell anyone actually but since its u, otabek altin, the prince of my heart, the MVP of my soul, then ill give u sum hints k

Otabek instinctively smacks his own forehead as he reads the message.

my pirohzki: k so apprntly idk where tf am i

you: tf yura

my pirohzki: aha u cursed!

my pirohzki: r u drunk beka

you: no yura, YOU are drunk.

my pirohzki: hey am noot drunk

my pirohzki: haha lmao noot

my pirohzki: noot noot

my pirohzki: the thing is im sober af k beka y dnt u trust meh

you: ok ok you’re very sober now how come you don’t know where you at?

my pirohzki: i went skating on the lake

you: you what yura?

my pirohzki: i went skating on the lake, beka.

my pirohzki: lake is like a river

my pirohzki : but round not long

you: yes yura I am fully aware of what a lake is, but how can you skate on the lake??

my pirozhki: ask elsa, bro. i think she did all of these.

you: what

my pirohzki: elsa freezes things rite

my pirohzki: the lake is hard

you: you mean frozen

my pirohzki: nonono beka. hard. the lake is hard.

my pirohzki: just like nikiforov when he sees the damn katsudon skates. hard.

Otabek definitely did not need that information at all. Thank you very much for poisoning his mind, Yuri.

you: whatever floats your boat then, yura

you: now tell me where you at

my pirohzki: i told u im not a pirate beka

my pirohzki: im a tiger i dont have boat

my pirohzki: y does no1 love me tho

you: listen i love you k. so does yuuri and victor.

you: and the goddamn maple leaf skater is clearly gay for you so literally everyone loves you

my pirohzki: I JUST TRIED 2 PET SOME RNDOM CAT ON THE STREETS BUT THAT SHITHEAD RAN AWAY SO DONT U DARE TELL ME THAT EVERY1 LOVES ME K BEKA

you: …

you: if you wont tell me where you are, im telling your grandpa

my pirohzki: fuk

my pirohzki: k u kno wat

my pirohzki: im at some1s house but their sleepin so shhh

you: what

you: who’s house yura? are you breaking in??

you: you could get arrested oh god

my pirohzki: im not tellin u more

you: …are you at jj’s house?

my pirohzki: …

my pirohzki: u kno me so well beka ur my fav hooman k

you: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN JJ’S HOUSE YURATCHKA PLISETSKY

you: you’re dead k im telling your grandpa

my pirohzki: u c beka deez is y i h8 ppl

you: ok fine then i won’t tell him

you: im on my way there ok wait for me

you: just don’t go through his wardrobe ok?

my pirohzki: t o o  l a t e

you: dammit yura

Otabek snatches his bike keys from the table and goes straight to the parking lot to get his bike. Seriously, of all the places he could break in, Yuri chose fucking JJ’s house.

How wonderful.

Only a few blocks away from his own apartment, his phone buzzes in his pocket a few times. He ignores it at first, but it could be from Yuuri or someone important so he pulls over to read the text.

my pirohzki: did u know

my pirohzki: that apprntly

my pirohzki: jj has goddamn lion king boxers

my pirohzki: NOT ONLY 1 THO

my pirohzki: HE HAS LIKE 5 OF EM

my pirohzki: AND EACH 1 OF DEM HAS HIS FUCKIGN INITIAL ON THE WAISTBAND ASDJFLDK

my pirohzki: im gonna pee myself help me beka

you: yura what did i tell you about his wardrobe?

my pirohzki: go through it

you: no yura I said DON’T go through it

my pirohzki: geez k im leaving his underwear then

my pirohzki: o look at wat I got

my pirohzki: a vanilla scented victoria secret body spray

my pirohzki: shit it smells like cookie

my pirohzki: im going 2 drink it

you: yuratchka

you: leave the poor guy’s thing alone k??

you: he probably sells his soul to smell good so don’t mess with his body spray

my pirohzki: yea ur rite beka he’s ugly

my pirohzki: not 2 mention he smells like burnt cookie wat a loser

you: just stay quiet and wait for me

you: i’ll pick you up asap

my pirohzki: oo r u pickin me up with ur metal horse

you:???

you: you mean my bike?

my pirohzki: metal horse beka

my pirohzki: ur so handsome but ur a dumbass

my pirohzki: not as dumb as fukin jj but still

you: im coming to get you.

Afraid that Yuri would do something crazier than drinking JJ’s perfume (like _accidentally_ sets his house on fire), Otabek drives his bike at full speed to JJ’s house.

Let’s just hope the asshole is still asleep.

He parks his car a few meters away from JJ’s house, so no one could hear the sound of his bike’s engine, and literally sneaking into the Canadian skater’s resident. The fence is a bit tall, however. Which makes him curious of how on earth did the shorter and smaller Yuri managed to get in.

Alcohol is the only way.

As he gets to the front door, he notices that there is an open window, which must be Yuri’s work. He shakes his head then climb in through that window. It didn’t take a long time for him to actually realize that there’s some sort of white dim light coming from the kitchen.

Oh Yuri.

He tiptoes his way to the kitchen only to find the blonde skater that’s now sitting half asleep on the floor near the opened fridge. There’s two pieces of candy canes poking out from his lips, and there’s a chocolate bar in his left hand-that is apparently, still stuck in the fridge.

What a brat.

“Hohoho-ly shit, you found me” he snorts.

“Let’s get out of here before he wakes up.” Otabek tries to take him away by pulling his arms, but since Yuri starts singing “Wake Me Up Inside” and doesn’t seem to move an inch, then carrying him like in a bridal style would be the last idea possible to drag him out. When they’re on their way to reach the place where Otabek parked his bike, Otabek realizes that Yuri is staring at him with his half-lidded eyes.

“Don’t carry me like this, you lemonade. I’m not a Disney princess.”

Otabek laughs a little

“My name is Lemonade, now?”

Yuri smiles innocently.

“Well you’re cold and sour. That makes you a lemonade.”

“So I am cold and sour to you, huh?” Otabek couldn’t help but smiles back at him.

“Hehe, yeah. Cold and sour. But very refreshing.”

This kid. How precious.

“That makes us both lemonade, then” Otabek says as he helps the drunk one to get on the bike without falling over.

“Nonono, I’m the corndogs. Even when I hate dogs.” Yuri’s weird statement makes him stops for a bit and looks back at the younger skater.

“Why corndogs, though? Aren’t they salty?”

“Yeah they are, just like me. But corndogs make a great pair with lemonade. Just like you and me.” He smiles even wider at the end of the sentence.

Otabek Altin, in all of his eighteen years old life, didn’t even think about how flustered he could be over some cheap carnival food called corndogs and lemonade.

* * *

 

The ride back home is not a silent ride. Yuri keeps talking with Russian accent strongly attached in every single word he says. Usually, he would try his best to not talking in accent, but now that he’s drunk, it seems like he doesn’t care anymore. Sometimes there’ll also a few Russian words slips in between. And the thing that makes Otabek sends his gratitude to all kind of gods and goddess that exist is when Yuri decides to sing some Russian lullaby softly, decorated with drunken slur, hiccups, and the lovely sounds of laughter.

Otabek is so in love. He really is.

A warm smile appears in his usually stoical face as he feels Yuri’s grip around his waist tighten. There’s no other midnight driving experience better than this one, for sure.

“YURIO!!”

Yuuri looks like he’s so ready to cry the tears of joy as soon as he sees Otabek and Yuri arrived safely. Even though Yuri fell asleep so Otabek has to (unnecessarily) carry him into their apartment.

“He was at JJ’s house.”

“He didn’t break or steal anything, did he?”

Otabek wants to point out the fact that Yuri stole some candies and chocolate, but maybe that’s a bad idea.

“No, he didn’t.”

“Oh thank god he’s a good kid.”

‘This good kid you are talking about literally broke into someone’s house and messed up with their wardrobe.’ Otabek screams in his mind.

“I don’t even know he could be like this when he’s drunk. He’s worse than me on the last year’s banquet.”

“Oh come on, Yuuri. Literally everyone has at least a video of you pole-dancing half naked.”

“Shut up Victor. I could add one more week to your detention.

“What the fu-“

“Anyway, Otabek. Thanks for bringing Yurio home. I don’t know what’ll happen if you’re not here.” Yuuri says as he flashes a gentle smile.

“Yeah, no problem. He’s my best friend so I have to look out for him too.”

“Ahahaha, best friend, he says.”

“Three whole weeks, Victor.”

“NO YUURI YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME.”

Otabek leaves the couple so they could have a better lover’s quarrel. Instead, he takes Yuri to his bedroom as soon as he can because _to be very honest_ , Yuri Plisetsky is actually heavy despite of having a small body.

Yuri looks like he’s already sleeping safe and soundly, judging by how his chest went up and down as he breathes, and a very soft sound of snoring. Otabek smiles at the view.

So he thought maybe, _just maybe,_ a little goodnight kiss on the forehead won’t hurt.

“ _Goodnight, Yura_.”

And then he goes back home.

* * *

 

my pirohzki: hey beka

my pirohzki: i just woke up and you’re probably asleep

my pirohzki: my head hurts like hell

my pirohzki: katsudon says it’s called hungover

my pirohzki: more importantly, I want to tell you two things

my pirohzki: sorry for troubling you

my pirohzki: and thank you for the goodnight kiss <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this. I hope you like it.  
> Please make sure to leave some kudos or comments for me, i would love to hear your opinions!!  
> See you on the next fic!


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